5 Steps To Turn Suffering Into Growth

What if we could embrace suffering and use it as a catalyst for growth?

How many of us are suffering right now? Unemployment, uncertainty and illness surround us.

Working as a doctor and coach, I witness suffering and its effects throughout people’s lives.

Recently I have been inspired by the work of Marcus Aurelius and Victor Frankel; both of them share a similar premise.

“Suffering is our internal response to external events.”

Their premise is empowering; it suggests we can reframe, reshape and remould our responses, and therefore our future experiences. We can turn failure into opportunity, suffering into achievement and tragedy into triumph.

Mandela, King and Gandhi all used their suffering as a catalyst for growth. They focused on what they could control. Their inner strength instilled courage in everyone they touched.

“Post-traumatic growth is defined as positive psychological changes after encountering challenging events.”

Post-traumatic growth is not just for aspiring world leaders. A 2018 meta-analysis in the Journal of Affective disorders analysed 26 articles on post-traumatic growth. The study participants worked in a diverse range of professions and reported a variety of traumas. The results demonstrated 1 in 2 people engage in post-traumatic growth following traumatic events. Research like this fills me with hope and optimism.

As the Dalia Lama says “suffering is necessary” — bereavements, breakups and illness, we all encounter these life events. But, how can we find meaning in suffering to help us grow?

Ask yourself: what is the meaning of my experience? What can I learn? What did this teach me?

How can I turn suffering into growth?

1. Timeline — Journal a timeline of painful events. If some events are particularly traumatic, have someone with you to support you. Write the facts of the event — where were you, what were you doing and what happened?

2. Emotions — what emotions were you experiencing? Lean into the feelings. Emotions create beliefs; they drive behaviour. Get curious about them instead of judging them. Name them: were you experiencing fear, sadness, or anger? Here is a useful list.

3. Meaning — start connecting the dots and find meaning. Maybe the loss of a loved one has highlighted the importance of human connection to you, perhaps the loss of a job allowed you to find your real purpose or maybe an illness helped you learn about your character.

4. Values — write down consistent values the events share. Values help you understand who you are and how you wish to grow. Here is a list of values to get you started.

5. Congruence — Start aligning your actions congruent with your values. Start small and celebrate your growth. For example, if you have noticed human connection is vital to you commit to message a loved one regularly and express gratitude.

Thank you to Drima Starlight — his origin stories exercise inspired these action points.

Originally published at https://www.drsatguru.com on July 7, 2020.